he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
