when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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