I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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