The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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