btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
