Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
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