i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
