Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise

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(520): View more from Arizona

i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you

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(760): View more from California

I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart

(508): View more from Massachusetts

These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work

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(971): View more from Oregon

He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.

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(765): View more from Indiana

There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question

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(415): View more from California

He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.

(1-415): View more from California

HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.

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