um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's never too late to be topless.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
