Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
