About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
