I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i've created a new STD.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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