Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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