mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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