there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
