so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
