I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
