Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
