Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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