I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
