Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
