Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
