One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
