I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
