i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Randomize