If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
True strength comes from lack of pants
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
