End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
pray to the hookup gods
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
