NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
