she was so not down for the gang bang
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
