You're completely useless in the revolution.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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