I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
