I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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