Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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