I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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