shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
