thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
