they need to just BURY HIM!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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