Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
