I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm determined to sit on that face.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize