I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
