Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
