dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just invented taco cereal.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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