Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
