just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
