Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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