Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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