I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he thought i was a dude.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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