dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize