So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
