so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
