Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm passing your future prison.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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