Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
