I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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