what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
