i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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