Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
