turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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