He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
