I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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