She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
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