i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize