How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
