He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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