I heard we made out
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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