i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
