Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
