I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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