I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
