Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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