Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
