Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Panties = found
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
