Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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