Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
