YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
