so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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