38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
