Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Holy sore nipples Batman
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
