I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize