She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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