gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
